A eulogy. Live life to the Brim.
I wrote this, with a little editorial help from Emma, back in January 2008. Sadly I’m now preparing something for my aunt who passed away recently. Life is too short. Enjoy it folks.
“I’d firstly like to thank you all for coming also on behalf of my mum, Doreen, brother, Jon and sister, Sue. I’d also like to thank Mr Hobley for help running today.
Life is like that half filled pot. Is it half empty. Or half full. I take it as half full and I am going to fill it right up to the brim.
These words spoken by my dad sum him up for me for two main reasons. Firstly the sentiment itself; A sentiment he lived his life by and taught those of us who were lucky enough to have know him. Secondly, these words mean so much more when you understand the context. This was the last slide dad would present to patients about to begin the grim and tortuous journey of haemodialysis. Despite the obstacles he himself encountered on this journey, he took time out to give something back, making presentations and being there for other patients. As one of the many cards that my mum has received stated, how many people has he helped over the years?
This was a common theme in his life - always putting others first - his wife, children, and giving so much to work colleagues and friends.
After his family, Dad’s passions in life were undoubtedly his work. Work came in many forms. There is the obvious: His colleagues speak fondly and respectfully of him as someone who was an honest, professional workmate who many he became good friends with outside of the office. And then there is the not so obvious; the Man who showed us the enthusiasm for his own work and in the importance of doing ‘a good job’. He was always there not only to provide verbal but practical support too. I often wonder whether Dad’s name should be on my degree certificates with the number of essays he had practically written for me over the years. Then there is the arduous journey that Dad took with Jon to build ‘the car’. And the list could go on.
Towards the end, Dad’s dreams lay in two places. The hope that he could continue his lifeline of work and the opportunity to travel to those places he fondly remembered and often shared with us from his younger days working at sea. Sadly neither were fully realised due to the onset of his condition yet in his darkest times he realised that he needed to fill life up to the brim. Only recently did he take up a Maths degree at the Open University through which he had quickly built some good friends. Something that was common throughout his life.
Those of you who knew him will remember his unassuming intellect and unbounding knowledge on the most bizarre topics as well as the mundane. Always inspiring, often fun and full of laughter. His quirky sense of humour is one I have cringingly inherited - always saying the wrong thing at the right time. Hopefully not too toe-cringing today however!
He really was one of natures true gentlemen in every sense of the word. Kind, gentle - words that appear over and over in tributes to my father we have received - and yet never seem overused.
Some people are special without making any effort at all, wrote one, words that can also be attributed to my mother; of whom we are so proud and who I admire so much for your strength. Mum we are all here for you. My father was and is quite literally an inspiration. I am proud to stand here today and celebrate his life. May we never forget and may we constantly strive to live our lives full to the brim. “
Jim Wade. 22 July 1936-13 January 2008.
